https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
Empathy is feeling WITH people. Not just trying to patch up their feelings, but understanding their feelings, feeling with them. "What makes something better is connection" says the video, and I believe that. I myself am a very empathetic person, and since it is one of my strengths I want to believe that there is no way empathy can go wrong. Other virtues could be warped, but empathy? Empathy can bring nothing bring nothing but good things, connecting with people is essential, and it is enough...right?
But perhaps empathizing is not always enough. Perhaps sometimes it can make people feel justified in their hurt, and feed darker feelings of bitterness. I'm not saying that we should stop empathizing, but we shouldn't stop with just that. Letting people know they are not alone is important, but so is encouraging them. Yes, it is perfectly normal to be angry and confused when you are hurt. Getting hurt is normal, but growing past the hurt is healthy.Weep with those who weep. There is a time for mourning, there is a time for pain; let people have that time. Trying to get someone who has fallen and broken their leg to get up and walk right away is cruel and will only hurt them worse. But setting the bone, letting it heal, and being their crutch while the muscle is still returning is a greater kindness than merely relating to their pain. Healing can hurt, but it is a step you should encourage people to take.
Empathy is essential, but perhaps it is not sufficient. Climb down into people's dark places with them like the video said, but pull a Samwise Gamgee and be ready to carry them out if need be. Jesus went out into a world full of pain, bitterness and evil, he befriended the lowest of the low and ventured into the dark corners people are afraid to go, but he brought a light with him. What am I saying, He IS the light.
I know when I'm hurt and people give me advice and try to cheer me up I generally reject them. But when people have been through my experiences and are willing to hurt with me, I am more likely to look to them for answers once I am ready to move past my mourning stage. Because of their empathy, some people have a greater influence than those who merely have advice. Don't waste that influence. Use it for good.
People need connection. But they also need encouragement. Start with empathy, but don't stop there.
