A Tribute to Samwise Gamgee

Samwise Gamgee is the friend we all need.

Sam was a homebody. To leave the Shire at all was out of his comfort zone. He was homesick after just a few days of being in Rivendell, the only place outside the Shire he had ever wanted to go. Sam was not an adventurer. Sam was not a traveller even. But when Frodo volunteered to take the Ring to Mordor, Sam had no second thoughts about sticking with him.

I made a promise Mr. Frodo. "Don't you
leave him, Samwise Gamgee."
And I don't mean to. I don't mean to.

When Frodo decided his very presence would be harmful to his friends, he sought to isolate himself. And they all allowed him to; it wouldn't have been their first decision, and it was a hard decision to make, but they all allowed him to. Except Sam.

And when Frodo loses hope and purpose, who is it but Sam to get him back on track.

When Frodo is so bogged down by the Ring he can barely move, Sam offers to take on this burden, even though he has seen the horrible things it can do to a person. Frodo, consumed by the Ring, misinterprets Sam's offer. Not long after Gollum convinces him to leave Sam. But even though Sam has been scorned and abandoned by the very friend he has sacrificed so much for, as soon as Frodo is in need Sam is right back risking his life for him without a thought of a grudge.




Sam does begrudgingly take the Ring  to complete the mission when he thinks Frodo is dead, but as soon as he discovers Frodo is still alive, he risks his life and the mission for the sake of his friend.




After all of this, even though Sam is exhausted and has had hardly any water for days and has been receiving little to no support from Frodo, he knows that Frodo is bearing the greater burden. And as much as he wants to help, he realizes at this point even taking the Ring away from Frodo wouldn't help anything. It has wormed its way into Frodo's mind and degenerated his character, and the only way Frodo can be free is for the Ring to be destroyed. I believe the almost super-human strength Sam shows taking those last few steps are not for the fate of Middle Earth, but for Frodo.



Even after seeing Frodo give in to the power of the Ring completely, Sam still seeks to keep him safe even though they are inside an exploding volcano. Only once the Ring is destroyed, only once Sam has done everything he he possibly could to save Frodo does he break down.

"If ever I was to marry someone, it would be her. It would be her."

It is here that we are reminded again of who Sam is. A homebody. Someone who just wants to garden and get married. We see Sam as so much of a hero we forget how heroic he really is. He's not a hero because he helps get the Ring to Mordor, he's a hero because he gave up any chance for his dream of a simple life. He was missing his home, was missing the girl he loved, all while starving and dying of thirst and fighting off orcs, and he never once complained. Just because Frodo carried the greatest burden, did not mean Sam had none of his own.

Sam wasn't concerned if the relationship was equal, or if Frodo was treating him right. He knew Frodo was broken, and he sought to protect and heal him. Note that Frodo was not in any way manipulating Sam. I do not think Tolkien would  have in any way advocated an unequal and abusive relationship. The relationship was unequal because Frodo was broken; the issue was not that he would not, he could not give Sam more than he did. Frodo loved Sam as much as he could. And Sam responded with unconditional love without a thought to his own self-interest.

There are times we all abandon hope, we all make bad decisions, and we push people away from us because we have given up on ourselves. It's in those times we need a Sam, someone who will stick with us even when we don't want them to, even when we don't want to be with ourselves. But I don't think the point of Frodo's and Sam's relationship is to inspire us to find a friend like Sam, but rather to be a friend like Sam, to love unconditionally, regardless of what we are getting in return.

Worth

Some days it's easy to slip into despair it seems. It's easy to doubt the love of those around you and whether or not your life serves a purpose. It's easy to think about the needs in your life that are not being fulfilled, and then immediately doubt whether your needs are real or whether you're just needy. It's easy to think that maybe you're going crazy, that you will make everyone you love miserable just by being alive. And you feel miserable because you don't know what to do, and you don't know how to do it or why. 

Today I had such a day. 

I was at work, pondering the worth of living. After a few months of working at a nursing home, death doesn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. Some of the residents tell me they wish they were dead every morning when they wake up. Others lay incapacitated in their beds, tongues lolling out of their mouths, no control over their limbs and totally incapable of speech except to repeat a single word or phrase such as "cold" or "Lord help me." No amount of blankets or aid can silence their moans. They have the best of care, but it still doesn't seem to help. 

But some residents still have a gusto for life, and the more lively ones delight to come to bingo. It was during one of these bingo games that my depressed mind spiraled down into despair. Once the game ended I began to wheel the residents back to their rooms, and as the blood coursed through my veins my thoughts accelerated. There I was at the beginning of my life surrounded by people at the end of theirs, wondering if it was worth sojourning the years in between. Was anything I was doing worth anything? 

I had just returned a resident to his room when I heard a voice call behind me. I turned around to see another old man wheeling himself out of his room. 

"I thought it was you." He said. 

"Hi Stan," I replied. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm doing well, I just wanted to say hello. I'm nice and toasty now." He grinned, motioning to the thick winter coat he was wearing. 

"Well that's good, it's been awfully cold outside."

"Yes, yes. I'm very glad I've met you. You're a wonderful, kind, and friendly young woman and a delight to be with."

"Thank you Stan. The same to you."

"Well thank you. I just wanted to let you know."

"Thank you Stan, you have a good night."

"Thank you, you too."

I turned around as my eyes began tearing up. Right there, a little old man had told me my life was worth it, had told me I was wrong in thinking I was nothing but a misery to myself and those around me, had wheeled himself out of his room just to make sure I heard it. 

"Thank you God." I prayed silently as I went back to the activity room to take more residents back to their rooms. The services I performed were small, but they were not worthless. Stan's words were few, but they were not worthless. I had always known that every life is precious, but sometimes a lurking doubt overwhelms that knowledge. And sometimes a simple act of appreciation can reveal it again. I can do good, and I am not going to throw away that opportunity. I have a purpose here, and I am not going to abandon it. 

God does not make garbage, and he does not abandon His children without direction and the strength they need. Some days it's easy to slip into despair, but it does not mean the doubts that whisper into your ears are right, and it does not mean you are crazy for having such doubts. Do not confuse perfection and worth. We all are screwed up, but we all have worth too. Mistakes can never decrease your worth. You did not earn your worth, you cannot lose it either.  But you can keep living, and living with integrity even in small tasks. Who knows, even the simplest kindness to an old man can come back to bless you on a despairing day.