Life isn't boring.
Being bored is a choice you make, and it's not a choice worth making.
It's not about whether making a change is worth the effort, but about whether being bored is worth wasting your life.
If you decided to make a change, even if you don't know what it is yet, you will find a way. People can accomplish great things when they put their minds to it. Don't waste that potential by being bored.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
A Tribute to Samwise Gamgee
Samwise Gamgee is the friend we all need.
Sam was a homebody. To leave the Shire at all was out of his comfort zone. He was homesick after just a few days of being in Rivendell, the only place outside the Shire he had ever wanted to go. Sam was not an adventurer. Sam was not a traveller even. But when Frodo volunteered to take the Ring to Mordor, Sam had no second thoughts about sticking with him.
When Frodo decided his very presence would be harmful to his friends, he sought to isolate himself. And they all allowed him to; it wouldn't have been their first decision, and it was a hard decision to make, but they all allowed him to. Except Sam.
And when Frodo loses hope and purpose, who is it but Sam to get him back on track.
When Frodo is so bogged down by the Ring he can barely move, Sam offers to take on this burden, even though he has seen the horrible things it can do to a person. Frodo, consumed by the Ring, misinterprets Sam's offer. Not long after Gollum convinces him to leave Sam. But even though Sam has been scorned and abandoned by the very friend he has sacrificed so much for, as soon as Frodo is in need Sam is right back risking his life for him without a thought of a grudge.
Sam does begrudgingly take the Ring to complete the mission when he thinks Frodo is dead, but as soon as he discovers Frodo is still alive, he risks his life and the mission for the sake of his friend.
After all of this, even though Sam is exhausted and has had hardly any water for days and has been receiving little to no support from Frodo, he knows that Frodo is bearing the greater burden. And as much as he wants to help, he realizes at this point even taking the Ring away from Frodo wouldn't help anything. It has wormed its way into Frodo's mind and degenerated his character, and the only way Frodo can be free is for the Ring to be destroyed. I believe the almost super-human strength Sam shows taking those last few steps are not for the fate of Middle Earth, but for Frodo.
Even after seeing Frodo give in to the power of the Ring completely, Sam still seeks to keep him safe even though they are inside an exploding volcano. Only once the Ring is destroyed, only once Sam has done everything he he possibly could to save Frodo does he break down.
It is here that we are reminded again of who Sam is. A homebody. Someone who just wants to garden and get married. We see Sam as so much of a hero we forget how heroic he really is. He's not a hero because he helps get the Ring to Mordor, he's a hero because he gave up any chance for his dream of a simple life. He was missing his home, was missing the girl he loved, all while starving and dying of thirst and fighting off orcs, and he never once complained. Just because Frodo carried the greatest burden, did not mean Sam had none of his own.
Sam wasn't concerned if the relationship was equal, or if Frodo was treating him right. He knew Frodo was broken, and he sought to protect and heal him. Note that Frodo was not in any way manipulating Sam. I do not think Tolkien would have in any way advocated an unequal and abusive relationship. The relationship was unequal because Frodo was broken; the issue was not that he would not, he could not give Sam more than he did. Frodo loved Sam as much as he could. And Sam responded with unconditional love without a thought to his own self-interest.
There are times we all abandon hope, we all make bad decisions, and we push people away from us because we have given up on ourselves. It's in those times we need a Sam, someone who will stick with us even when we don't want them to, even when we don't want to be with ourselves. But I don't think the point of Frodo's and Sam's relationship is to inspire us to find a friend like Sam, but rather to be a friend like Sam, to love unconditionally, regardless of what we are getting in return.
Sam was a homebody. To leave the Shire at all was out of his comfort zone. He was homesick after just a few days of being in Rivendell, the only place outside the Shire he had ever wanted to go. Sam was not an adventurer. Sam was not a traveller even. But when Frodo volunteered to take the Ring to Mordor, Sam had no second thoughts about sticking with him.
 |
| I made a promise Mr. Frodo. "Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to. I don't mean to. |
When Frodo decided his very presence would be harmful to his friends, he sought to isolate himself. And they all allowed him to; it wouldn't have been their first decision, and it was a hard decision to make, but they all allowed him to. Except Sam.
And when Frodo loses hope and purpose, who is it but Sam to get him back on track.
Sam does begrudgingly take the Ring to complete the mission when he thinks Frodo is dead, but as soon as he discovers Frodo is still alive, he risks his life and the mission for the sake of his friend.
After all of this, even though Sam is exhausted and has had hardly any water for days and has been receiving little to no support from Frodo, he knows that Frodo is bearing the greater burden. And as much as he wants to help, he realizes at this point even taking the Ring away from Frodo wouldn't help anything. It has wormed its way into Frodo's mind and degenerated his character, and the only way Frodo can be free is for the Ring to be destroyed. I believe the almost super-human strength Sam shows taking those last few steps are not for the fate of Middle Earth, but for Frodo.
Even after seeing Frodo give in to the power of the Ring completely, Sam still seeks to keep him safe even though they are inside an exploding volcano. Only once the Ring is destroyed, only once Sam has done everything he he possibly could to save Frodo does he break down.
 |
| "If ever I was to marry someone, it would be her. It would be her." |
Sam wasn't concerned if the relationship was equal, or if Frodo was treating him right. He knew Frodo was broken, and he sought to protect and heal him. Note that Frodo was not in any way manipulating Sam. I do not think Tolkien would have in any way advocated an unequal and abusive relationship. The relationship was unequal because Frodo was broken; the issue was not that he would not, he could not give Sam more than he did. Frodo loved Sam as much as he could. And Sam responded with unconditional love without a thought to his own self-interest.
There are times we all abandon hope, we all make bad decisions, and we push people away from us because we have given up on ourselves. It's in those times we need a Sam, someone who will stick with us even when we don't want them to, even when we don't want to be with ourselves. But I don't think the point of Frodo's and Sam's relationship is to inspire us to find a friend like Sam, but rather to be a friend like Sam, to love unconditionally, regardless of what we are getting in return.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Worth
Some days it's easy to slip into despair it seems. It's easy to doubt the love of those around you and whether or not your life serves a purpose. It's easy to think about the needs in your life that are not being fulfilled, and then immediately doubt whether your needs are real or whether you're just needy. It's easy to think that maybe you're going crazy, that you will make everyone you love miserable just by being alive. And you feel miserable because you don't know what to do, and you don't know how to do it or why.
Today I had such a day.
I was at work, pondering the worth of living. After a few months of working at a nursing home, death doesn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. Some of the residents tell me they wish they were dead every morning when they wake up. Others lay incapacitated in their beds, tongues lolling out of their mouths, no control over their limbs and totally incapable of speech except to repeat a single word or phrase such as "cold" or "Lord help me." No amount of blankets or aid can silence their moans. They have the best of care, but it still doesn't seem to help.
But some residents still have a gusto for life, and the more lively ones delight to come to bingo. It was during one of these bingo games that my depressed mind spiraled down into despair. Once the game ended I began to wheel the residents back to their rooms, and as the blood coursed through my veins my thoughts accelerated. There I was at the beginning of my life surrounded by people at the end of theirs, wondering if it was worth sojourning the years in between. Was anything I was doing worth anything?
I had just returned a resident to his room when I heard a voice call behind me. I turned around to see another old man wheeling himself out of his room.
"I thought it was you." He said.
"Hi Stan," I replied. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm doing well, I just wanted to say hello. I'm nice and toasty now." He grinned, motioning to the thick winter coat he was wearing.
"Well that's good, it's been awfully cold outside."
"Yes, yes. I'm very glad I've met you. You're a wonderful, kind, and friendly young woman and a delight to be with."
"Thank you Stan. The same to you."
"Well thank you. I just wanted to let you know."
"Thank you Stan, you have a good night."
"Thank you, you too."
I turned around as my eyes began tearing up. Right there, a little old man had told me my life was worth it, had told me I was wrong in thinking I was nothing but a misery to myself and those around me, had wheeled himself out of his room just to make sure I heard it.
"Thank you God." I prayed silently as I went back to the activity room to take more residents back to their rooms. The services I performed were small, but they were not worthless. Stan's words were few, but they were not worthless. I had always known that every life is precious, but sometimes a lurking doubt overwhelms that knowledge. And sometimes a simple act of appreciation can reveal it again. I can do good, and I am not going to throw away that opportunity. I have a purpose here, and I am not going to abandon it.
God does not make garbage, and he does not abandon His children without direction and the strength they need. Some days it's easy to slip into despair, but it does not mean the doubts that whisper into your ears are right, and it does not mean you are crazy for having such doubts. Do not confuse perfection and worth. We all are screwed up, but we all have worth too. Mistakes can never decrease your worth. You did not earn your worth, you cannot lose it either. But you can keep living, and living with integrity even in small tasks. Who knows, even the simplest kindness to an old man can come back to bless you on a despairing day.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Victories that Cripple
I'm feeling pretty happy and in love right now, but I'm not going to go around broadcasting that information flippantly. Why? Because just a couple of months ago I felt anything but in love. My boyfriend hadn't become a worse person since we started dating, I wasn't being treated badly, but the positive emotions were gone and there were days I couldn't stand the thought of him. I knew in my mind that he was a great guy, that he was worthy of love and our relationship was worth pursuing, but my emotions were not hopping on board. I thought I had failed. I had had my shot at young love, it lasted strongly for about half a year, then it faded. I thought that was it. I thought our relationship was dysfunctional, that any chance at being "in love" again was gone.
That will probably sound ridiculous to anyone who is not currently in such a situation, but how was I to know otherwise? People don't air their dirty laundry in public. How was I to know such struggles were surmountable, even natural if other couples wouldn't admit to them? I felt alone and like a failure because of the lack of honesty of others. I'm sure other couples have their emotionally dark points. I mean after all, it's emotions we're talking about here, there's a lot of ebb and flow. But no one posts about anything other than their victories, and with every "in love" post on Facebook I became more convinced it was a failure on my part instead of realizing it was common battle than could be fought and won.
During that time I also had singles share their victories with me. I know it is difficult for a young single woman to accept being single and be content in it. Insecurities about singleness is something I struggled with before I dated, and any victory over it is indeed laudable for anyone. But as I sat and listened to the young woman in front of me rave about the freedom of her single life and how she couldn't imagine being in a relationship because it would tie her down too much, my own jealousy and insecurities grew. She didn't want to be stuck in a relationship, she wanted "to do something with her life". Well guess what, I wanted to do something with my life too, and setting up relationships as the enemy of a meaningful, useful life wasn't exactly decreasing my doubts in my own seemingly crumbling situation. The reasons she had found for being happy single were adding to the pile of reasons I had to be unhappy in a relationship. I knew it was by no means a personal jab at me, and I tried not to take it personally, but it reinforced my belief I was alone in my misery.
These people had no idea how their own joy and confidence was eroding mine away with every gushing rant they gave. We are all so focused on defeating our own insecurities we seldom consider how it may effect others.
In middle school I went through a few years of doubt about my faith. It was very dramatic, probably because I was in middle school. All the Christians I knew would talk about their joy and peace and hope, and I was just depressed. I believed in God for sure and I loved Him a lot, but everyone talked about the assurance they found in this pervading sense of peace or joy. There did not seem to be enough room in Christianity for the depression I had or the curiosity to know more instead of just "believing in faith". Many nights I would collapse on my bedroom floor and just sob as quietly as I could, knowing God could hear and hoping my parents couldn't. What was I doing wrong? Was I not a good Christian or a real Christian because I didn't get the positive feelings others did? Did it mean I hadn't fully accepted God's love because I still had this fear of His wrath? But I also had a fear of being told my sadness and doubts were impossible for a real Christian and that somehow I had failed, so I shared these feelings with no one but God, not knowing how many may have gone through my same struggles.
If people cultivated deeper relationships that were based on honesty instead of just giving highlights to their acquaintances, most of these scenarios could probably have been prevented. I know that none of these people would dream of hurting anyone, which is exactly why I'm writing this. I myself have unintentionally injured many, and I was horrified when I found out. If you have a victory, that is awesome, you go! Just be aware of who you share them with. If you really want someone to know, then call them! Have coffee! Social networking has its time and place, but we often end up broadcasting less than half the real story to dozens of people who we really don't know. There's actually been quite a bit of discussion on whether or not Facebook can increase the chances of depression because only the positive is shared, making the user feel as if their lives don't measure up. Here's just one article, but there are plenty more far more scholarly if you feel so inclined to look it up.
A little consideration would go a long way. If our first goal were to listen to our conversation partner instead of finding someone to listen to us, then we would better know what is appropriate to share. Some things are common sense; you probably shouldn't brag about weight loss in front of someone struggling with obesity or oogle google about your significant other around someone who just went through a breakup. If someone is struggling with something you once struggled with, encouragement and advice could be appropriate if the other seemed willing, but it should always be in consideration to what would help or harm the other and not focused on you.
All this to say, I don't think sharing your victories is a bad thing. I think it is a very good thing, but unless you put that victory in context to the battle you fought, you may just be convincing others they are alone in their own struggles. We all put on a nice front it seems, but everyone I actually become close friends with have admitted to deep struggles with various insecurities, despair, and doubt. And unfortunately they often also feel like they are alone during the times they most need companionship and guidance, even though we all go through similar experiences. I think a big part of the reason this is so prevalent is because no one wants to be the wet blanket, no one wants to be the first to admit their faults, and so we only share the good points.
Christians often talk about making sure they have "a good testimony". If they live their life good enough then people will be more attracted to Christ, right? But the thing about Christianity is that Christ heals, and we cannot be a display of that if we never show our scars/wounds. We are hypocrites if we pretend to have it all together, and we completely undermine the power of God. We need healing, and we aren't going to get it if everyone who has been healed goes around denying they were ever sick in the first place. "Good" people don't have effective testimonies, forgiven people do. God accepts the humble and turns away from the proud. There are a million reasons I am scared to admit my faults and insecurities, but they are all rooted in pride. Every time I read the Bible I become more and more convinced that pride is simply not a good enough reason to hide the truth.
So when people ask about my relationship I tell them it has had its ups and downs; simply saying "it's great!" would not be honest. I don't want to give any young girls unrealistic expectations that having a boyfriend means you'll feel in love always or that all the insecurities and longings you had before will suddenly be satisfied as he stares deeply into your eyes.
Life is hard. Relationships are hard, whether they are with people or God. They take a lot of work. They are also beautiful and confusing and thrilling and boring and messy and unique. But they are never so unique that no one will understand. If we shared our low moments as well as our high moments I think we would be amazed at just how not-alone we are. There are people who understand our pain and there are also those who have made it to the other side. If you are one of the ones on the other side of a pit, don't just tell everyone how happy you are. Tell them there is a way out of the pit and that it's worth it.
That will probably sound ridiculous to anyone who is not currently in such a situation, but how was I to know otherwise? People don't air their dirty laundry in public. How was I to know such struggles were surmountable, even natural if other couples wouldn't admit to them? I felt alone and like a failure because of the lack of honesty of others. I'm sure other couples have their emotionally dark points. I mean after all, it's emotions we're talking about here, there's a lot of ebb and flow. But no one posts about anything other than their victories, and with every "in love" post on Facebook I became more convinced it was a failure on my part instead of realizing it was common battle than could be fought and won.
During that time I also had singles share their victories with me. I know it is difficult for a young single woman to accept being single and be content in it. Insecurities about singleness is something I struggled with before I dated, and any victory over it is indeed laudable for anyone. But as I sat and listened to the young woman in front of me rave about the freedom of her single life and how she couldn't imagine being in a relationship because it would tie her down too much, my own jealousy and insecurities grew. She didn't want to be stuck in a relationship, she wanted "to do something with her life". Well guess what, I wanted to do something with my life too, and setting up relationships as the enemy of a meaningful, useful life wasn't exactly decreasing my doubts in my own seemingly crumbling situation. The reasons she had found for being happy single were adding to the pile of reasons I had to be unhappy in a relationship. I knew it was by no means a personal jab at me, and I tried not to take it personally, but it reinforced my belief I was alone in my misery.
These people had no idea how their own joy and confidence was eroding mine away with every gushing rant they gave. We are all so focused on defeating our own insecurities we seldom consider how it may effect others.
In middle school I went through a few years of doubt about my faith. It was very dramatic, probably because I was in middle school. All the Christians I knew would talk about their joy and peace and hope, and I was just depressed. I believed in God for sure and I loved Him a lot, but everyone talked about the assurance they found in this pervading sense of peace or joy. There did not seem to be enough room in Christianity for the depression I had or the curiosity to know more instead of just "believing in faith". Many nights I would collapse on my bedroom floor and just sob as quietly as I could, knowing God could hear and hoping my parents couldn't. What was I doing wrong? Was I not a good Christian or a real Christian because I didn't get the positive feelings others did? Did it mean I hadn't fully accepted God's love because I still had this fear of His wrath? But I also had a fear of being told my sadness and doubts were impossible for a real Christian and that somehow I had failed, so I shared these feelings with no one but God, not knowing how many may have gone through my same struggles.
A little consideration would go a long way. If our first goal were to listen to our conversation partner instead of finding someone to listen to us, then we would better know what is appropriate to share. Some things are common sense; you probably shouldn't brag about weight loss in front of someone struggling with obesity or oogle google about your significant other around someone who just went through a breakup. If someone is struggling with something you once struggled with, encouragement and advice could be appropriate if the other seemed willing, but it should always be in consideration to what would help or harm the other and not focused on you.
All this to say, I don't think sharing your victories is a bad thing. I think it is a very good thing, but unless you put that victory in context to the battle you fought, you may just be convincing others they are alone in their own struggles. We all put on a nice front it seems, but everyone I actually become close friends with have admitted to deep struggles with various insecurities, despair, and doubt. And unfortunately they often also feel like they are alone during the times they most need companionship and guidance, even though we all go through similar experiences. I think a big part of the reason this is so prevalent is because no one wants to be the wet blanket, no one wants to be the first to admit their faults, and so we only share the good points.
Christians often talk about making sure they have "a good testimony". If they live their life good enough then people will be more attracted to Christ, right? But the thing about Christianity is that Christ heals, and we cannot be a display of that if we never show our scars/wounds. We are hypocrites if we pretend to have it all together, and we completely undermine the power of God. We need healing, and we aren't going to get it if everyone who has been healed goes around denying they were ever sick in the first place. "Good" people don't have effective testimonies, forgiven people do. God accepts the humble and turns away from the proud. There are a million reasons I am scared to admit my faults and insecurities, but they are all rooted in pride. Every time I read the Bible I become more and more convinced that pride is simply not a good enough reason to hide the truth.
So when people ask about my relationship I tell them it has had its ups and downs; simply saying "it's great!" would not be honest. I don't want to give any young girls unrealistic expectations that having a boyfriend means you'll feel in love always or that all the insecurities and longings you had before will suddenly be satisfied as he stares deeply into your eyes.
Life is hard. Relationships are hard, whether they are with people or God. They take a lot of work. They are also beautiful and confusing and thrilling and boring and messy and unique. But they are never so unique that no one will understand. If we shared our low moments as well as our high moments I think we would be amazed at just how not-alone we are. There are people who understand our pain and there are also those who have made it to the other side. If you are one of the ones on the other side of a pit, don't just tell everyone how happy you are. Tell them there is a way out of the pit and that it's worth it.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
A Little Perspective on Biblical Dating
Sorry all you young single women, mothers of young single women, and anyone else who thought this was a blog about romance. It is about relationships in its own way, but the relationships between historical dates and not hormonally charged adolescents. I am neither a math nerd nor a history buff, but this is still something I thought was absolutely fascinating. Trust me, this is interesting.
World Created: Year 0
World Flooded: Year 1,656
Jacob/Israel Arrives in Egypt: Year 2,298 (1875 B.C.)
God Frees Hebrews from Egypt: 1,445 B.C.
David Becomes King: 1,010 B.C.
Israel Led into Captivity: 722 B.C.
Exiles Return: 537 B.C.
Nehemiah Restores Laws: 432 B.C.
Birth of Christ: 5 B.C. (Ironic, isn't it?)
Jesus's Death and Resurrection: 30 A.D.
Stephen, the first Christian Martyr: 31 A.D.
John's Revelation on Patmos: 95 A.D.
Yes I realize these dates are just rough estimates and will vary depending on what source you use as will most ancient historical dating. These approximations should be able to give a general idea of timeline.The dating transition between counting generations up from Adam and counting in B.C. lands in Jacob's lifetime, so that date is the one most subject to error. B.C. dating before that time is more likely to be faulty as would be Years After Creation after that time. However, thanks to extremely detailed genealogies, Years After Creation are exact up to that point. However I do encourage you to take this with a grain of salt and to do your own research. This post assumes a creationist viewpoint, but its purpose is not to argue over the how literally Genesis 1 is to be taken, that will have to wait for another time and place. Rather this is to help show the progression of events after that point.
Just in case my little timeline has not conveyed my point sufficiently, here is a graph:
Over a third of the time recorded in the Bible happens before Chapter 7 of Genesis, over half in the book of Genesis all together. The New Testament covers only a 100 year time period, notice each box represents 200 years on the above graph. Supposing there were approximately 4,200 years between creation and the birth of Christ, we haven't even reached half that time since the birth of Christ.
All too often we skip over genealogies and whip through descriptions of passages of time and sorta forget they were there. Sure there was some time between the fall and the flood, but only a couple of generations. And we tend to think God turned His back on humanity pretty fast. The time between Joseph being second-in command of Egypt and God having to send ten plagues for Pharaoh to set them free is also underestimated and we think that Pharaohs must have short memories. In reality, these two often forgotten time spans added together exceeds the amount of time between present day and the Birth of Christ.
I hope this helps broaden your perspective the way it helped me!
World Created: Year 0
World Flooded: Year 1,656
Jacob/Israel Arrives in Egypt: Year 2,298 (1875 B.C.)
God Frees Hebrews from Egypt: 1,445 B.C.
David Becomes King: 1,010 B.C.
Israel Led into Captivity: 722 B.C.
Exiles Return: 537 B.C.
Nehemiah Restores Laws: 432 B.C.
Birth of Christ: 5 B.C. (Ironic, isn't it?)
Jesus's Death and Resurrection: 30 A.D.
Stephen, the first Christian Martyr: 31 A.D.
John's Revelation on Patmos: 95 A.D.
Yes I realize these dates are just rough estimates and will vary depending on what source you use as will most ancient historical dating. These approximations should be able to give a general idea of timeline.The dating transition between counting generations up from Adam and counting in B.C. lands in Jacob's lifetime, so that date is the one most subject to error. B.C. dating before that time is more likely to be faulty as would be Years After Creation after that time. However, thanks to extremely detailed genealogies, Years After Creation are exact up to that point. However I do encourage you to take this with a grain of salt and to do your own research. This post assumes a creationist viewpoint, but its purpose is not to argue over the how literally Genesis 1 is to be taken, that will have to wait for another time and place. Rather this is to help show the progression of events after that point.
Just in case my little timeline has not conveyed my point sufficiently, here is a graph:
Over a third of the time recorded in the Bible happens before Chapter 7 of Genesis, over half in the book of Genesis all together. The New Testament covers only a 100 year time period, notice each box represents 200 years on the above graph. Supposing there were approximately 4,200 years between creation and the birth of Christ, we haven't even reached half that time since the birth of Christ.
All too often we skip over genealogies and whip through descriptions of passages of time and sorta forget they were there. Sure there was some time between the fall and the flood, but only a couple of generations. And we tend to think God turned His back on humanity pretty fast. The time between Joseph being second-in command of Egypt and God having to send ten plagues for Pharaoh to set them free is also underestimated and we think that Pharaohs must have short memories. In reality, these two often forgotten time spans added together exceeds the amount of time between present day and the Birth of Christ.
I hope this helps broaden your perspective the way it helped me!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Let's be Practical
Bible lessons have morals. This is what we are all brought up to believe, from pre-k to the big people service. And morals always get wrapped up in neat little bows so you can apply them to your life easily. That's the purpose of morals, the purpose of bible lessons, the purpose of reading the bible at all: to learn how to better live our lives. Isn't it? That's why we go to church after all, to socialize/fellowship and hopefully stay awake enough to catch what this week's application for your life should be.
I've heard people complain about lessons that weren't applicable enough, and rave over ones that "really changed their lives". Religion should be applicable (although we don't like to call it religion), and philosophy? Philosophy is worthless. Why ask questions you can't answer? And why have answers if you aren't going to use them to fix problems? Our only efforts to reach out into the void is to find out who we should marry and which social justice group we should give a yearly donation to. Millions of people believe there is a supernatural being communicating with us, and not only that, but this being is the a greatest Being that ever was or ever will be from whence comes all things and who determines our eternities and created our universe and commands legions of angels and most amazing of all, loves us. That is probably the most wonderful, incredible, fantastic thing that anyone could ever believe, and yet, many of the people who believe this treat God like a self-help book.
Maybe we're looking at this wrong. Maybe God didn't reveal Himself to us so we could learn right from wrong, but so that we could learn who He is. Maybe we were created to love and adore, and obedience is just a side effect of that. Maybe we should stop treating the bible as a manual and instead see it as a story, with God not as the author but as the subject. Maybe sometimes it's ok to have a sermon without a nice little application at the end, maybe just seeking who God is can be enough. Maybe sometimes it's ok to ask questions that don't have answers. Maybe sometimes it's ok to realize that we really don't know that much, and that this God whom we call Father is infinitely greater than we could even comprehend. Maybe taking a leap of faith means confronting tough issues, issues you have no way to fix, questions you have no way to answer, doubts that seem to have grounds. Maybe these things are more than ok sometimes, maybe they're important for remembering who God is and who we are.
Drawing practical applications from the Bible is important, but I don't think that's all. We should definitely seek to live righteously and to help our brothers and sisters in Christ as well as our enemies. These things are crucial. But loving others as yourself is only the second greatest commandment, and perhaps our first priority should be to follow the greatest commandment. For if we love Him, we will seek Him. We will be in wonder at His majesty and we will worship Him. If we love Him, we will want to obey Him and we will seek His will. Then we will do good, and with the right intentions. If we realize even a little who God is, that perspective will cause our lives to change and fall into order after that. This wonder, this impractical worship and curiosity and love for God is the root for everything else in our lives, not the other way around.
So how can we love God without knowing who He is? How can we find out who He is without asking? And how can we mere mortals ever comprehend the answer? Yet even though we can never contain the whole concept of God in our minds, by asking those questions we perhaps can get a better glimpse. Anything that leads to a better understanding of God is automatically worth it, whether or not it comes with a practical application for our lives.
Monday, July 21, 2014
LOTR: Knowledge and Power
"There was...a family of high repute, for it was large and wealthier than most. ...The most inquisitive and curious-minded of that family was Smeagol. He was interested in roots and beginnings; he tunneled into green mounds; and he ceased to look up at the hill tops, or the leaves on trees, or the flowers opening in the air: his head and his eyes were downward." (A Shadow of the Past, Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien).
This is the first mention of Gollum in the Lord of the Rings, and practically the only glimpse we have of his life before the Ring of power consumed him. Gollum was from a people very similar to hobbits, Gandalf told Frodo, and indeed, from a situation very similar to the Baggins' in nearly every way. Both he and Bilbo are from respectable, rich hobbit families, and both stumble upon the Ring by chance. However one is consumed by it to point of murder within the first few moments of seeing it, and the other gives it up freely after 61 years of ownership. Neither knew whether the Ring was good or evil, they did not make a conscious choice what to do with the Ring, their reaction simply came from the character they already had.
Bilbo was not necessarily a hobbit of great character, certainly not at the beginning of The Hobbit. He is not courageous or selfless, all he wants is to keep living the comfortable life he is living in his comfortable hole and smoke. But his contentedness with his life may be exactly what protects him from the power of the Ring. Bilbo is very rooted in the Shire, all throughout The Hobbit he longs to be back in his own hole, even after he gains courage and becomes the leader of the group of dwarves in Mirkwood after Gandalf leaves them. It is his satisfaction with his own life that allows him to refuse the treasure he is offered at the end of The Hobbit, and possibly it also helps him resist the lure of the Ring.
Gollum on the other hand is not rooted at all in his community. He sought knowledge, Gandalf tells us, and it caused him to turn away from seeing or appreciating the little things in life, such as trees and flowers. He was too focused on the causes to appreciate the effects. I could be wrong, but I think Tolkien may have been making a subtle critique of science here. The pursuit of knowledge can cut you off from normal life and make you more vulnerable to the corruption of power. Bilbo sought nothing and so did not fall prey to that which was offered him. Gollum was always seeking, and leaped at the first opportunity for more he could get.
Saruman and Gandalf could be an intriguing parallel to Gollum and Bilbo. Both Saruman and Gandalf are wizards, coming from similar backgrounds. Gandalf, though he wanders, is well-rooted in Middle Earth. Though we do not know much of his wanderings other than what he tells Frodo, we do know that he is good friends with Frodo, as he was with Bilbo before him. He and Aragorn were also friends and traveled together seeking Gollum after Bilbo's party and before Frodo left the Shire. Even Barley Butterbur, the innkeeper at the Prancing Pony seems to be on very familiar terms with Gandalf. Gandalf does not oversee the inhabitants of Middle Earth, he cares for them, he is rooted in them.
Saruman is very nearly opposite of Gandalf. While Gandalf delighted to study hobbits, Saruman focused his studies on darker topics. He did not wander like Gandalf did, but neither was he rooted in Middle Earth. He did not mingle with any of the people, rather he sat up in his tower and watched. Like Gollum, he pursued knowledge to destructive ends, through the Palantir instead of the Ring, although he also sought that. The Palantir allowed him to watch without becoming involved. While Gollum became isolated digging under hills, Saruman became isolated sitting atop his tower; both in pursuit of knowledge. And in their pursuit, both fell prey to evil and corruption. Gollum saw the people around him as threats, while Saruman saw them as objects. While it is possible Tolkien was critiquing science through Gollum, it is much more commonly believed that he was critiquing industry through Saruman. (An in-depth look here: http://www.councilofelrond.com/2004/05/lotr-and-industrialization/)
Tolkien did not believe knowledge was evil by any means, it is lamented often in the Lord of the Rings how much history has been forgotten. Tolkien himself was a very intelligent and well-educated man. He worked on the Oxford English Dictionary, did translations of great works, was a code-breaker during WWII, was a professor at several colleges/universities including Oxford, not to mention created several languages, histories/mytholiges, and complex back-stories to go along with the Lord of the Rings. Tolkien was very knowledgeable, but he realized the importance of also being grounded, otherwise the love of knowledge makes one vulnerable to isolation and therby corruption. While this is most noticeable in Saruman, it also pops up subtly, like in Gollum's history and with Denethor. Tolkien's emphasis on the importance of being rooted is found much more frequently, through Gandalf, Bilbo, and Sam particularly, but also with minor characters such as Tom Bombadil or Farmer Maggot. In fact, Tom Bombadil regarded Farmer Maggot highly for that very reason.
"There's earth under his old feet, and clay on his fingers, wisdom in his bones, both his eyes are open"
In the House of Tom Bombadil, The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.
There is much more that could be said on this, but that would take much longer, and as neither of us have Entish patience it shall have to wait for another day. Feel free to leave any thoughts in the comments, as I certainly have left some things out.
This is the first mention of Gollum in the Lord of the Rings, and practically the only glimpse we have of his life before the Ring of power consumed him. Gollum was from a people very similar to hobbits, Gandalf told Frodo, and indeed, from a situation very similar to the Baggins' in nearly every way. Both he and Bilbo are from respectable, rich hobbit families, and both stumble upon the Ring by chance. However one is consumed by it to point of murder within the first few moments of seeing it, and the other gives it up freely after 61 years of ownership. Neither knew whether the Ring was good or evil, they did not make a conscious choice what to do with the Ring, their reaction simply came from the character they already had.
Bilbo was not necessarily a hobbit of great character, certainly not at the beginning of The Hobbit. He is not courageous or selfless, all he wants is to keep living the comfortable life he is living in his comfortable hole and smoke. But his contentedness with his life may be exactly what protects him from the power of the Ring. Bilbo is very rooted in the Shire, all throughout The Hobbit he longs to be back in his own hole, even after he gains courage and becomes the leader of the group of dwarves in Mirkwood after Gandalf leaves them. It is his satisfaction with his own life that allows him to refuse the treasure he is offered at the end of The Hobbit, and possibly it also helps him resist the lure of the Ring.
Gollum on the other hand is not rooted at all in his community. He sought knowledge, Gandalf tells us, and it caused him to turn away from seeing or appreciating the little things in life, such as trees and flowers. He was too focused on the causes to appreciate the effects. I could be wrong, but I think Tolkien may have been making a subtle critique of science here. The pursuit of knowledge can cut you off from normal life and make you more vulnerable to the corruption of power. Bilbo sought nothing and so did not fall prey to that which was offered him. Gollum was always seeking, and leaped at the first opportunity for more he could get.
Saruman and Gandalf could be an intriguing parallel to Gollum and Bilbo. Both Saruman and Gandalf are wizards, coming from similar backgrounds. Gandalf, though he wanders, is well-rooted in Middle Earth. Though we do not know much of his wanderings other than what he tells Frodo, we do know that he is good friends with Frodo, as he was with Bilbo before him. He and Aragorn were also friends and traveled together seeking Gollum after Bilbo's party and before Frodo left the Shire. Even Barley Butterbur, the innkeeper at the Prancing Pony seems to be on very familiar terms with Gandalf. Gandalf does not oversee the inhabitants of Middle Earth, he cares for them, he is rooted in them.
Saruman is very nearly opposite of Gandalf. While Gandalf delighted to study hobbits, Saruman focused his studies on darker topics. He did not wander like Gandalf did, but neither was he rooted in Middle Earth. He did not mingle with any of the people, rather he sat up in his tower and watched. Like Gollum, he pursued knowledge to destructive ends, through the Palantir instead of the Ring, although he also sought that. The Palantir allowed him to watch without becoming involved. While Gollum became isolated digging under hills, Saruman became isolated sitting atop his tower; both in pursuit of knowledge. And in their pursuit, both fell prey to evil and corruption. Gollum saw the people around him as threats, while Saruman saw them as objects. While it is possible Tolkien was critiquing science through Gollum, it is much more commonly believed that he was critiquing industry through Saruman. (An in-depth look here: http://www.councilofelrond.com/2004/05/lotr-and-industrialization/)
Tolkien did not believe knowledge was evil by any means, it is lamented often in the Lord of the Rings how much history has been forgotten. Tolkien himself was a very intelligent and well-educated man. He worked on the Oxford English Dictionary, did translations of great works, was a code-breaker during WWII, was a professor at several colleges/universities including Oxford, not to mention created several languages, histories/mytholiges, and complex back-stories to go along with the Lord of the Rings. Tolkien was very knowledgeable, but he realized the importance of also being grounded, otherwise the love of knowledge makes one vulnerable to isolation and therby corruption. While this is most noticeable in Saruman, it also pops up subtly, like in Gollum's history and with Denethor. Tolkien's emphasis on the importance of being rooted is found much more frequently, through Gandalf, Bilbo, and Sam particularly, but also with minor characters such as Tom Bombadil or Farmer Maggot. In fact, Tom Bombadil regarded Farmer Maggot highly for that very reason.
"There's earth under his old feet, and clay on his fingers, wisdom in his bones, both his eyes are open"
In the House of Tom Bombadil, The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.
There is much more that could be said on this, but that would take much longer, and as neither of us have Entish patience it shall have to wait for another day. Feel free to leave any thoughts in the comments, as I certainly have left some things out.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Trials and Tribulations and Testing, Oh my!
Pro 17:3 The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the LORD tests hearts.
2 Tim 3:12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
Zec 13:9 And I will put [them] into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people'; and they will say, 'The LORD is my God.'"
Heb 12:5-6 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."
John 15:19-20 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.
2 Tim 3:12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,
Isa 48:10 Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.
James 1:2-3 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
Isn't it interesting that the Bible is clear that Christians will go through hard times, but that these times are used for our good, purifying us and drawing us closer to God? And yet, most of the time when we hit the slightest bump in the road we say "Oh, God must be closing this door for me. Time to wait for Him to open a more convenient window."
Of course sometimes God does "close doors", and quite emphatically, but maybe, just maybe, other times He wants to go through even if its hard, because we'll come out the other side the better for it.
Of course sometimes God does "close doors", and quite emphatically, but maybe, just maybe, other times He wants to go through even if its hard, because we'll come out the other side the better for it.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Stupid Little Things
My boyfriend and I were out driving to a place we had never been before. He hates driving and I'm awful with directions, so I drove and he was navigator. It was supposed to be easy. Google maps had us take an exit, take a right turn, then that road supposedly just turned into another road and poof! Our destination would be on the right. But is that how it worked out? Of course not.
We got the exit alright, we turned right alright, we were on the road we were supposed to be on, but did it change names into the next road? No. It turned into a grocery store parking lot. Before we knew it we were somewhere around Delmar trying to find our way through St. Louis back to the interstate so we could start over.
"Should I turn around?" I asked.
"No, just turn here and it should lead us down a parallel road and get us back to where we got lost."
Did it? Of course not. It lead into a maze of tiny subdivisions and within minutes we were hopelessly lost. My iPhone wouldn't recognize our location, so he got on Google maps and was trying to zoom in close enough to find what tiny subdivision roads we were on so we could get back. As he wrestled with my phone I resignedly drove through the rain past quaint old little houses trying to read road names through my furiously wiping wipers.
I couldn't help thinking as I drove along how our driving situation was analogous to our dating situation. Why? Because my brain thinks in analogies. You see, he and I had been dating a year and a half, and what had started out as true love had aged rapidly to dissatisfied old couple. He was stressed, I was insecure and nagging and I had no clue how we had reached that point, and no clue how to get out of it without dumping him. In my mind, our relationship was basically lost, but I just kept driving along resignedly, because after a year and a half what else are you going to do? We'd already fought and promised to be better and fought some more, and all the while just kept getting more and more lost. I didn't know where we went wrong and I certainly didn't know how to make it right again.
The first rule of being lost is remembering where you've been. You can't just decide where you're going to go if you don't know where you are, and you can't know where you are without remembering where you've been. And if you can't remember where you've been, then you're screwed.
Unless you have an eagle scout reading a map, which thankfully I did, and we were able to reach our destination. Physically that is, metaphorically we were still pretty lost. It's funny how stupid little things can turn into big, ugly things. Like my insecurity about my appearance. I have a big nose and a less than curvaceous figure, but I knew I couldn't change that, so I began to subconsciously obsess on the thing I could change. At 125 lbs and 5' 7", I definitely shouldn't be worrying about my weight. I know the statistics, I'm on the bottom edge of healthy and I know it. Yet somehow when I look into the mirror I feel fat. Somehow when I sit down and see that extra bit of skin around my middle I want to stop eating for a week. I know it is crazy, and I normally eat a bunch of chocolate to combat the feeling, but it's still hovering in the back of my head. Am I a well-controlled anorexic? Am I going mental? It's stupid, it's silly really that I should be concerned about my weight, but combined with a not-complementary boyfriend, my insecurity grew.
As for my boyfriend, he has troubles with worry. He worried about the craziest things, and I never really thought he was serious. As he progressively became more stressed and unable to have fun or even sleep normal amounts I realized something very important. If someone is worried about something ridiculous, it doesn't mean they are laughable, it means they need help. And by questioning why we weren't having fun anymore and blaming all our relationship issues and my insecurities on him, I certainly wasn't helping. I was making him retreat emotionally and get all bottled up, which helped neither his stress nor my self-image issues as he became more distant from me.
So what did we do? We pulled over and asked for directions from people who had the maturity and experience to help us figure out where we stood. We still have yet to make a plan of where we are going from here, but realizing how we got where we are is a big step towards getting on the right path. Maybe it took so long for us to admit what was wrong was because we didn't want to admit to ourselves that we had such deep issues over such crazy things. Never underestimate the damage a stupid little thing can cause, because that is exactly how they cause their damage. The fly under the radar and are allowed to grow unchecked because they scoffed at as insignificant until they have turned into big ugly problems. Often they are the guise for much deeper issues, so next time you notice yourself or your friend consistently making detrimental comments, even in jest, don't just shrug it off. And don't be afraid to open up to your friends and family. You are not alone.
We got the exit alright, we turned right alright, we were on the road we were supposed to be on, but did it change names into the next road? No. It turned into a grocery store parking lot. Before we knew it we were somewhere around Delmar trying to find our way through St. Louis back to the interstate so we could start over.
"Should I turn around?" I asked.
"No, just turn here and it should lead us down a parallel road and get us back to where we got lost."
Did it? Of course not. It lead into a maze of tiny subdivisions and within minutes we were hopelessly lost. My iPhone wouldn't recognize our location, so he got on Google maps and was trying to zoom in close enough to find what tiny subdivision roads we were on so we could get back. As he wrestled with my phone I resignedly drove through the rain past quaint old little houses trying to read road names through my furiously wiping wipers.
I couldn't help thinking as I drove along how our driving situation was analogous to our dating situation. Why? Because my brain thinks in analogies. You see, he and I had been dating a year and a half, and what had started out as true love had aged rapidly to dissatisfied old couple. He was stressed, I was insecure and nagging and I had no clue how we had reached that point, and no clue how to get out of it without dumping him. In my mind, our relationship was basically lost, but I just kept driving along resignedly, because after a year and a half what else are you going to do? We'd already fought and promised to be better and fought some more, and all the while just kept getting more and more lost. I didn't know where we went wrong and I certainly didn't know how to make it right again.
The first rule of being lost is remembering where you've been. You can't just decide where you're going to go if you don't know where you are, and you can't know where you are without remembering where you've been. And if you can't remember where you've been, then you're screwed.
Unless you have an eagle scout reading a map, which thankfully I did, and we were able to reach our destination. Physically that is, metaphorically we were still pretty lost. It's funny how stupid little things can turn into big, ugly things. Like my insecurity about my appearance. I have a big nose and a less than curvaceous figure, but I knew I couldn't change that, so I began to subconsciously obsess on the thing I could change. At 125 lbs and 5' 7", I definitely shouldn't be worrying about my weight. I know the statistics, I'm on the bottom edge of healthy and I know it. Yet somehow when I look into the mirror I feel fat. Somehow when I sit down and see that extra bit of skin around my middle I want to stop eating for a week. I know it is crazy, and I normally eat a bunch of chocolate to combat the feeling, but it's still hovering in the back of my head. Am I a well-controlled anorexic? Am I going mental? It's stupid, it's silly really that I should be concerned about my weight, but combined with a not-complementary boyfriend, my insecurity grew.
As for my boyfriend, he has troubles with worry. He worried about the craziest things, and I never really thought he was serious. As he progressively became more stressed and unable to have fun or even sleep normal amounts I realized something very important. If someone is worried about something ridiculous, it doesn't mean they are laughable, it means they need help. And by questioning why we weren't having fun anymore and blaming all our relationship issues and my insecurities on him, I certainly wasn't helping. I was making him retreat emotionally and get all bottled up, which helped neither his stress nor my self-image issues as he became more distant from me.
So what did we do? We pulled over and asked for directions from people who had the maturity and experience to help us figure out where we stood. We still have yet to make a plan of where we are going from here, but realizing how we got where we are is a big step towards getting on the right path. Maybe it took so long for us to admit what was wrong was because we didn't want to admit to ourselves that we had such deep issues over such crazy things. Never underestimate the damage a stupid little thing can cause, because that is exactly how they cause their damage. The fly under the radar and are allowed to grow unchecked because they scoffed at as insignificant until they have turned into big ugly problems. Often they are the guise for much deeper issues, so next time you notice yourself or your friend consistently making detrimental comments, even in jest, don't just shrug it off. And don't be afraid to open up to your friends and family. You are not alone.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Sharing isn't easy
It's funny how some things really hit home with you. One day you'll find a song, or a book, or a wildflower or something that speaks to you, something so amazing or beautiful that you are nearly overwhelmed by it, so you share it with a friend. I don't know about you, but one of two things usually happens to me.
A) They scoff and call it "sappy" or are in other terms generally very unimpressed with it,
or,
B) They LOVE it and GUSH over it and OH MY GOSH SO PRETTY!
And suddenly, your precious discovery is ruined.
It wasn't just "cute" to you, and it certainly didn't strike you as sappy; you connected with it on a deep level. But no one else seemed to have that experience. And what was peerless to you has now been soaked in a muddy splash from the judging car your friends drove past it and your delicate flower is left to wilt. And after a while you just stop sharing your wonderful little discoveries and keep them to yourself. Crazy as it is, you might even try to hide them. You know deep down they aren't really as perfect as you think they are, but you love them and you don't want any snide remarks to ruin your image of them.
This can happen with much more than just songs. Sometimes while reading the Bible or stewing over an argument in my head suddenly a great piece of wisdom or a life lesson will suddenly become clear to me. I had known the mere words of it from time out of mind, but in an instant of revelation I truly understand them for the first time. When this first started happening I would rush to a friend or family member and tell them of this life-altering discovery, and they would just smile and nod. Either my inarticulate enthusiasm didn't magically inspire in them the same deep understanding of the "common knowledge", or else they had already understood it for quite a while. And once again, this deep connection I have is passed by unappreciated by the rest of the world as if it were something petty or common.
It may seem crazy, but often this is enough to make me start doubting myself. Maybe I have bad taste in music, maybe I'm dumb for not figuring out these life lessons sooner, maybe I really am shallow and kitschy. In any case, it's clearly worthless for me to continue sharing my discoveries. It doesn't help anyone else and it depresses me.
But then I will read something that explains something normal just a bit differently than I've heard it before, and everything clicks into place in my mind again and I understand it fully for the first time instead of just knowing it. Whoever wrote it didn't see the world the way everyone else did, she saw it the way I did, and she articulated for me something I could have never discovered by myself. Surely there is someone else like me out there, and maybe, just maybe, someday I could help them make a beautiful discovery too. If I could help just one person understand an idea better by looking at it from a slightly different angle, it would be worth all the criticism and and blank stares I get from everyone else who just doesn't get the way I think.
I have no intention of criticizing anyone else's way of viewing the world. Even if we were all to come to the same conclusion we would reach it through a billion different paths, and there is no saying one path is better than the other. In fact, we all can benefit by being around those different than us to broaden our understanding. But sometimes you just want to be understood, and that is best achieved in finding someone whose way of thinking is closest to our own. However, without risking sharing what is closest to you, you can never find out who those people are. So take a chance and share something that is precious to you. I guarantee most people won't appreciate it the same way you do, but if it is truly worthy of appreciation then the opinions of other's doesn't really matter. And who knows, you might just find a "kindred spirit".
And of course, if you want to, comment! I'm not here to rant into thin air, and most of what I write about is of an exploratory nature. Discussion is welcome!
A) They scoff and call it "sappy" or are in other terms generally very unimpressed with it,
or,
B) They LOVE it and GUSH over it and OH MY GOSH SO PRETTY!
And suddenly, your precious discovery is ruined.
It wasn't just "cute" to you, and it certainly didn't strike you as sappy; you connected with it on a deep level. But no one else seemed to have that experience. And what was peerless to you has now been soaked in a muddy splash from the judging car your friends drove past it and your delicate flower is left to wilt. And after a while you just stop sharing your wonderful little discoveries and keep them to yourself. Crazy as it is, you might even try to hide them. You know deep down they aren't really as perfect as you think they are, but you love them and you don't want any snide remarks to ruin your image of them.
This can happen with much more than just songs. Sometimes while reading the Bible or stewing over an argument in my head suddenly a great piece of wisdom or a life lesson will suddenly become clear to me. I had known the mere words of it from time out of mind, but in an instant of revelation I truly understand them for the first time. When this first started happening I would rush to a friend or family member and tell them of this life-altering discovery, and they would just smile and nod. Either my inarticulate enthusiasm didn't magically inspire in them the same deep understanding of the "common knowledge", or else they had already understood it for quite a while. And once again, this deep connection I have is passed by unappreciated by the rest of the world as if it were something petty or common.
It may seem crazy, but often this is enough to make me start doubting myself. Maybe I have bad taste in music, maybe I'm dumb for not figuring out these life lessons sooner, maybe I really am shallow and kitschy. In any case, it's clearly worthless for me to continue sharing my discoveries. It doesn't help anyone else and it depresses me.
But then I will read something that explains something normal just a bit differently than I've heard it before, and everything clicks into place in my mind again and I understand it fully for the first time instead of just knowing it. Whoever wrote it didn't see the world the way everyone else did, she saw it the way I did, and she articulated for me something I could have never discovered by myself. Surely there is someone else like me out there, and maybe, just maybe, someday I could help them make a beautiful discovery too. If I could help just one person understand an idea better by looking at it from a slightly different angle, it would be worth all the criticism and and blank stares I get from everyone else who just doesn't get the way I think.
I have no intention of criticizing anyone else's way of viewing the world. Even if we were all to come to the same conclusion we would reach it through a billion different paths, and there is no saying one path is better than the other. In fact, we all can benefit by being around those different than us to broaden our understanding. But sometimes you just want to be understood, and that is best achieved in finding someone whose way of thinking is closest to our own. However, without risking sharing what is closest to you, you can never find out who those people are. So take a chance and share something that is precious to you. I guarantee most people won't appreciate it the same way you do, but if it is truly worthy of appreciation then the opinions of other's doesn't really matter. And who knows, you might just find a "kindred spirit".
And of course, if you want to, comment! I'm not here to rant into thin air, and most of what I write about is of an exploratory nature. Discussion is welcome!
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